Approaching a new year is incredibly hard for bereaved parents. Next to the dreaded anniversary, heaviness comes in anticipation of the holiday season knowing we are facing a future without our children physically with us.
I'll never forget the first NYE after Mazie went to Heaven. There was no warning or way to way to prepare from the immense pain of feeling like we were leaving Mazie behind. I would give ANYTHING to have a rewind button and go back to the year before, to hold her once again. The last time we held her was in a funeral home. It's just not supposed to be this way.
A couple of weeks ago we went to a funeral for a precious, beautiful boy who is the same age when Mazie went to be with Jesus. So many emotions surfaced as we grieved with this sweet family and relived every gut wrenching moment of our tragic goodbye. Someone said after the services for Mazie how strong we were. Instantly I replied it's the strength of the Lord. To this day, He has been our source of strength to carry us - to have strength for other parents to borrow and hopefully an encouraging light someday.
During the deepest valley and on our darkest days, we have surrendered everything to God. He's called us to rest and trust in Him. These last few years have brought us to many places - physically, emotionally and spiritually. When it seemed like we were suffering alone, He's right there. We will worship Him, glorify Him, forever seeking His guidance and healing until we arrive at our eternal home and reunited with our Mazie girl.
Since August, grief settled in and so did depression that I'm still navigating with much prayer and intentional time with the Lord. That's why I've taken some time away the distraction and trigger-filled online platforms and will likely do so for quite some time. This space though still serves as an intentional outlet to honor our Mazie and our grief.
In looking back over the last few eye opening and rather difficult months, I can't help but see how God has been with us in the midst as always. He led our family even closer to Him in such intimate ways both through a new church and back in counseling. In our sessions, the vulnerability of our grief breaks us down so that He heals all aspects of brokenness as only He can. It's amazing to see how His hand is truly in it all. Mazie's biggest brother is in youth group and her other big brother is enjoying being back in counseling too.
Through the last angelversary to this bittersweet holiday season, we have been as intentional as ever in remembering our Mazie girl and spending quality time together. Board games and Mario Kart can do wonders for bringing joy back to all of us. We've visited our girl often, writing her letters, and shared all about her at community events. I pray this next year will be filled with additional opportunities to shine Mazie's light with more who will be encouraged to love harder, give grace, be kinder and most importantly, to live for Jesus.
While we continue to pursue healing, we also remain dedicated to water safety awareness. Mazie would want us to. She will forever be our inspiration to keep saving more lives and finding our place for our love for her to go.
We are truly grateful for every single one of you who have supported us and our organization with your love, time and resources. YOU have helped us make an impact in 2024. With the involvement of generous people who have volunteered along with Mazie's AMAZING dad and siblings, we have placed several new signs in multiple neighborhoods near retention ponds and an apartment complex pool. These efforts and more will be multiplied as we carry our Mazie with us into another new year. We love you sweet girl. Happy New Year to you and all of the other beautiful angels in Heaven and to our family and friends here. 💛
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